Why is it that as soon as I sound a bit cranky and tired (this time due to not being able to sleep properly) I have a fucking attitude problem.
NEWSFLASH everything is not always fucking great and I don't feel like nodding my head sympathetically and saying oh and aw every time someones mentioning something. Right now everything works really good with our group but I have a hard time finding sleep since I spend (probably) way too much time thinking about this film and wanting to get it as perfect as possible. I have nightmares about this shit because I hate failing and I hate getting my faults and errors pointed out to me and if I don't do what I'm supposed to, that is exactly what's going to happen.
It just gets a little tiring always having to be happy go lucky when you're tearing yourself up on the inside. I love my family, I love them to fucking bits, but it's like sometimes they forget I'm actually just human. The worst thing is as I've hung up tonight they're going to talk about this conversation and probably discuss how fucking rude I was or something, the only difference from being at home is that I can't sneak outside my door and listen to it.
I'm really fucking selfish and egoistic aren't I?
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